craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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