I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I love you. Go after that dick
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
