dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
