quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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