No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
