u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize