Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
