I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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