your parents love me but you hate me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
