Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
