all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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