am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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