Sponge bath it is.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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