i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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