What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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