I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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