youre lurking in front of me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
