I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize