I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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