Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
