My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
false alarm, still single
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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