It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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