The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a trapeze. enough said
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
