i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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