had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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