I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
