why didn't you poke me back
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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