Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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