I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
