TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
