yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
