we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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