I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
