AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
