Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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