If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
