If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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