fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
