so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize