Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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