The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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