it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
