my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize