Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize