thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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