Swine flu. Run for my life!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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