Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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