Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
