It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
