so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
