my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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