lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize