In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
