I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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