the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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