Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My nipple is on Facebook.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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