you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
