Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
