I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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