Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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