No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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