A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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