tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
